Well some background to my current frame of mind:

Got dumped around 7 weeks back, read the about me section. She wanted a week to mull over it, I gave her 4. Till the day I brought it up we were fine, as in she didn’t say anything, claimed she missed me [she went to London for her month long holiday in week 3] and signed off with love you all the time. So when I brought it up I was shocked when she said the break up stands. But she said she was confused and that she was crazy about me and it’s really hard for her. So hung in there waiting to see what happens. Maybe it is just a phase, a 2 year itch.

But a day back the bombshell hit. No, she did not move on, cheat, do someone at least to the best of my knowledge, but anyway that’s what is not important right now. She closed it. What I mean by that, is that post the formal break up, I had to deal with not being with her and so. But the door to our relationship was still open, meaning it could just be a phase or she had some doubts. But a day back she told me she had told her mum,

“i told her u wouldnt be visiting as much….and she was like huh why? and i was like ma…rough patch…chill”

Ok so whys is this a big deal. So she comes from a hard core Tam Bram, Indian family. They are not an orthodox family, but traditional. Meaning they are trying to keep up with time in their own way. So they knew about the relationship and never did give her any grief for it. When I was in college she practically lived in my place, and till recent event most evening was spent at her place. You get the picture; fundamentally they were Ok with me and her. But they are not pro changing of relationships. They would want her to have ideally 1 or 2 relationships that are serious and that one will end in marriage.

So her telling her mum was a BIG fucking deal. It means that she has almost written this off. So this is when it hit… and trust me when I say that it, really hit….